What's on my mind

That tends to be a scary question.......

The biggest thing on my mind today is this love that I feel for my daughter. I mean really, I LOVE her. I never knew it was possible to love another person this much. When they put her in my arms after giving birth to her and I looked into those big eyes of hers, as tired as I was I knew, knew in the depths of my soul that I finally knew what it was to love another person. We struggle, sure. What mom doesn't. Sometimes my struggles are different than some. I am a single parent. Our family looks a little different than most, but it works for us (most of the time). Today is just one of those days where I am wondering, out loud. "What could I be doing differently" I work a crazy job, with crazy hours so needless to say I am exhausted a good majority of the time and pretty much survive on massive amounts of caffeine. I need to focus on giving her stability but in that living the life that God wants me to live and be doing the work that He wants me doing. That is my soul purpose, to be doing what He has called me to do. He has called me to be this curly headed, big brown eyed, spirited child's mother. When the doctor called and said those words I will NEVER forget "Well it looks like your pregnant" I knew that my life was about to change, I just had no idea how much. I didn't know that the God of the universe was about to call me into His arms. I didn't know that I was about to step into a relationship with Jesus. I had no clue that in the next four year I would experience more pain, more heartache, cry more tears yet experience more joy than I ever had before. I didn't know that as I kiss my daughter goodnight as I came home from work that I could look at her sweet face and realize that I love her more now than I did the day she was born.......